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Jasmin's Pad Thai

['2 tablespoons red onions, finely chopped', 'A dash of peanut or olive oil', 'Shrimp (deveined), or calamari (cleaned and sliced) or chicken or pork (thinly sliced)', 'An egg', 'A small handful of thai rice noodles', '1/2 a cup (max) of chicken stock or water', '4 to 5 glugs of fish sauce', 'A heaping tablespoon tamarind sauce*', '1/2 tablespoon palm sugar or unrefined caster sugar', 'A pinch or 2 of crushed red chile flakes', 'A handful of bean sprouts', '3 or 4 scallions, cut into 3-inch sticks', '2 to 3 tablespoons raw cashews, coarsely chopped', 'Fresh lime wedges and cucumber slices', '"*Tamarind sauce—of course you can buy this already prepared', 'but its an entirely different sauce when its fresh: place a small handful (about 2 to 3 tablespoons) of dried', 'vacu-packed tamarind nuggets in a bowl and cover with very hot water for about 5 to 10 minutes to soften. Use your hands to squish the nuggets until the water becomes really thick and gloopy. Youll notice your hands getting really soft', 'so spread a good amount of it all over your arms and face. Great for the skin. Anyway', 'using a rubber spatula', 'rub the sauce through a strainer', 'leaving the pits behind. Store the sauce in an airtight mason jar (keeps about a week). Rinse off your arms and face."']

Get your mise completely ready to go, because this dish only takes about 5 minutes to cook.
In a wok (of course you can use a frying pan, but it's just not the same; even those cheap stainless steel ones work better than a pan), fry the red onion in a little peanut or olive oil. Add the shrimp (or calamari, chicken, or pork). Cook for a minute. They'll continue so don't worry too much if they're still slightly opaque, and move them over to the side. Make a well in the center. Crack the egg in there and scramble with a fork till cooked. Push over to the side along with the shrimp.
Break the noodles in half (unless your wok is the huge industrial size), and add to the center with about 1/4 cup of the stock, the fi sh sauce, tamarind sauce, palm sugar (dissolve it in a little hot water if too thick), and red chile flakes. Mix well into the noodles, leaving the shrimp and scrambled egg off to the side.
Cook the noodles in the sauce for a few minutes, stirring lightly to ensure that they don't clump together. The noodles should be just softened—you want them nice and chewy. Taste and adjust the seasoning—and add more stock if necessary.
Now add the bean sprouts and the scallions, stir everything together, and heat it through. Immediately turn onto large plate and top with the chopped cashews. Garnish with lime and cucumber slices.
You now just need a pair of chopsticks and an ice cold Singha.

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